i have that dream again, the one where i’m being devoured alive by dogs. they’ve jumped all over me, big ones, crowding my body so much that not all of them can get in on the action, just standing there wagging their tails back and forth like a metronome. the lucky ones are loving the action — gnawing at the fat in my thighs, ripping apart my shoulders, trying to bite into my head but unable to pierce my thick skull, so they just kind of thrash it around like a ragdoll.
there’s nothing i can do, sitting there, eyes wide open, watching this all happen. when it starts up i’m startled, afraid — but after a bit i kind of just ease in to it. not like the dream starts with any pretext—i’m not running away from them or fighting them off or anything like that at first, it starts mid-feast, my body on the ground and their teeth full of blood. there’s nothing i can do, anyway. i feel like a pebble in a current. so i just relax, let myself be eating by these semi-domesticated animals, alone, staring up at the clear blue sky, waiting for this all to be over. i wish one of them would go for my neck and chomp at the part that’s keeping me conscious, keeping me awake to watch this show but they never do. it’s always an extended, drawn out production, for what reason i’m never really sure.
i wake up from the nap and i’m in the park and it’s a nice sunny day and i’ve taken some of the acid gummies that i got at the candy store crumps gave me the address to. there’s people everywhere in groups, hanging out and drinking and laughing and doing whatever it is people do in groups. lots of people with dogs too, big and small ones. one of them comes over to me and starts sniffing. it’s a small one, curiously sniffing me out. the owner calls out its name and apologizes to me for it getting close. i tell him i don’t mind.