lessons learned from running a twitter group chat
the ideal size of a twitter group chat is 30-39 people. less than 30 people and there isn’t enough activity. more than 39 and it becomes impersonal.
this doesnt apply to sports talk group chats or (name of city) meetup chats.
it is harder to remove people from your life than it is to add them to it.
it’s better to die in a blaze of glory than fade into irrelevance.
it’s funny to mix different people group of people you know together but the thrill wears off after a while.
you can never have enough girls in a group chat.
you can, however, have too many guys in a group chat.
unless you’re going for a boys chat. but it has to be a chat for the fellas. you can’t have, like, a 7:3 guy:girl ratio. that just makes it weird.
whoever has the ability to destroy something has power over it.
whoever wants to destroy something has real power over it.
gatekeeping is important. you can’t just add everyone to everything. some people have bad vibes. some people just don’t fit in. and that’s fine! that’s a good thing.
there is no conversation topic more boring, more dull, and more played out than the metaphysical analysis of “the downtown manhattan scene” and/or “dimes square”.
if you run a group chat you will have to keep track of all the clandestine beefs, drama, and squabbles people have with one another. especially if you want to add someone but they’re blocked by someone in your chat. this will be very annoying.
if there are single guys and girls in the same group chat and they all live in the same city they will start hooking up with one another. or falling in love with each other. it will inevitably get messy. there’s nothing you can do about it. just ride with the wave.
“just ride with the wave” is good life advice in general, really.
people will leave the chat just like they exit from your life. they will not stick around. you may not like it, but you have to accept it. you can’t change it. this will hurt more when its people you care about, even if you proclaim how much you dont care.
stop taking things personally! most people arent thinking about you that much. they arent making decisions based on you. they’re making decisions and taking actions based on their own feelings which most likely have nothing to do with you.
if someone is doing something because of you, you will know.
when you no longer recognize the people you’re surrounded by, you need to take a step back and re-assess the situation you’re in. is this what you want? is this the right direction for you? sometimes this question is hard to answer, but it is necessary.
“clout” is stupid. “clout” is a dumb thing to chase after. “clout” doesn’t pay the bills or fill the void in your heart.
don’t add people you have a crush on to your chat.
people will talk about your chat. they will share screenshots and gossip and text each other in backchannels. they will talk about it in the backchannels to the backchannels. people love to gossip.
if your chat gets too big people will start talking about it in real life. other people who you know will hear about the chat. they’ll start Asking Questions about why they aren’t in the chat. this will get annoying, especially if its from people who you kind of dont want to add.
people hate feeling left out of stuff. even if you add them and they don’t participate in the stuff, they want to at least feel important enough to you to have been extended an invite in the first place.
everyone wants to feel like they belong somewhere.
sometimes it isn’t personal when you aren’t invited to something. sometimes it is. learning the difference between the two is critical.
twitter doesn’t matter. none of this matters. what matters being surrounded in real life by people who you care about and who mutually care about you. this is very hard to find, even if you are surrounded by people constantly.
people will block other people from your chat because they think it’s funny and you know what? it is. it is funny.
Apparently LA is the Dimes Square anyway 🙄