I don’t believe in love I think it’s bullshit. Its one of those words thats been used far far far far far too much that its lost any sort of significance or meaning, like “alt-right” or “literally”. People will tell me how they loved a book or loved a pastry from some that bakery or loved some tweet or they love someone but what does that really mean? They really liked it? They’d die for it/them? Well according to Webster the definition of love is blah blah blah don’t care not interested. My view is that it’s a chemical imbalance in your brain like being depressed or getting hit with too much dopamine at once. Something you have to get fixed or treated when it affects you because too much of it for too long will ruin your life.
I’ve found that people just lie about what they love anyway. I’ve seen others use that word as an excuse to abuse or harm or terrify or otherwise damage people around them, all in the name of some cruel justification that they adore you so much they just had to of hurt you, cause you pain. And sure yeah maybe they’re lying, they’re fucked people, they’re manipulative sociopaths. But doesn’t that make it worse? That you can twist a word around and warp it to your own meaning, use it for your own purposes? Using a word as a weapon, a sword to cut right through people? Like I said earlier it robs the word of any purpose or direction.
Maybe this is all just a reaction to my love life, which I can best describe as an ongoing series of embarrassing and sometimes humiliating failures. I have to defend my soul from itself these days, telling it obey my directions at all times, protect yourself at all times like i’m a boxing referee. Otherwise I’ll get sucked in, I’ll start feeling things, and inevitably I’ll get wounded. I’ve found it’s not worth it. The risks greatly outweigh the rewards, the temporary highs crashing down and leaving a mark that never really goes away. Sure being risk averse is a lousy way to live, but at the same time you can’t put a hand in front of an open flame and cry when the skin melts off. What did you expect dumbass?
So I don’t believe in it, love. Sure there’s people I care about and I’ll try to let them know that I do care about them and they have value in my life but I don’t know if I can use that word and have it carry the weight it once did, or once should have. But that’s fine. Its fine it’s all good. I’m figuring out how to live like this and once i do i’ll be content with it and make my own peace.
are you attractive